The Night Writer

The nights still hot, which isn't so surprising as the days are to. Fans just move the air like hot porridge barely getting thru.
Sheets become a second skin, anything touching is a cause of concern.
My mind wanders in and out of dreams, famous and fallen all in a moment.

Went to a pool party this evening, the water was spectacular, the kids wild, the adults sat and chatted and sipped upon wine and drank their beers. I played in the pool with the wild, and I came home feeling like I didn't need to drink the booze, and was glad of the fact I didn't, and am not.

If it wasn't Febfast - I thought to myself, - I'd of had both beer and wine and kept myself from the wild to do so.
How things have changed from the simple stuff of life, where friends and water was enough.

I think now of the youngsters in their teens, Friday night out with friends, to have a good time is to get smashed or stoned on something.  I know that feeling, the need to escape, to go wild in a delirious kinda way.
When I was young there was nothing ahead of me, only now, only what I thought I needed in this moment. Smashed is what I got, and I never learnt how to find the space without it.

I guess that's what I'm doing this Febfast for, is not to stop young people from drinking, or even taking drugs - everyone takes their drug, it's just for what reason is the destruction.

When your doing it because you can't live with yourself, then you never stop doing it. However I've seen people drinking and even taking drugs and it's a relaxation, a lubricant, but it doesn't take over their lives. They still seem in control and thinking of others.

If young people with drug and alcohol addictions can separate themselves from the drugs and booze and look inside without the judgement of a hypocritical society belting them so constantly. Maybe they'd see someone worth loving, caring for, spanning time with, having fun and adventures, sitting still and not knowing. Maybe that would be ok.
Maybe they could learn what I never did, and not drown their lives away.

God knows the struggle isn't the addiction, it's what left without the drugs and booze.  A sense of pain, but no understanding of where it comes from or belongs to. A sense of being alone and a desperate desire to kill that feeling. A feeling out of place, unsure of where you're going or if you're taking anything with you that's important.

This just takes time, good people, innovative thinking, faith and hope,  and damn good adventures to fill those huge gaps where they've lost themselves.

No one feels better about themselves because their told they're good people, feeling better is about believing it yourself and that's something from within. Changing destructive patterns of behavior is about accepting yourself first, for who you are right now in the shit with the whole world going down around you.

Drunken fallen drug addicted youth have spectacular lives to live, and they have so much to give, and they are amazing people in their present state of chaos.

I really want them to know that, and I want them to know that I and other people in the broader community think that to.

I'm having an alcohol free weekend and loving it.
Mainly because I know it's one way to speak loudly the words I've softly typed for you tonight.

If you're just cruising by this blog and am not sure what I'm on, it's febfast, click the link below and do yourself a favor, sponsor me and we'll both be speaking loudly.

Thanks for your support.

The Night Writer